Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Double Standards

I dont know how to start this particular post because I am sooo angry and frustrated with my situation/life. I just want to type out all my anger. But I will try to be clear and concise so I make sense but bear with me if I lose focus.
As you are aware I have an exam coming up... I am already stressed about it enough as it is. But home life isnt helping me feel better either.

I have, at present, 2 younger sisters...lets call them spaceman and kofta ( their nicknames as kids). Spaceman is in her 3rd year of Uni and kofta is retaking her GCSEs at college. Now spaceman has exams coming up too so I sympathise. But it is extremely frustrating to see her wake up late and swan out of the house and roll in late in the evening. Slowly, day by day, shes been coming home later and later in the evenings. Last night she came home at 9.30pm.
This isnt just something she does because of studying for exams....this is her all year round. She has zero empathy for anyone in the house. She neglects all her chores at home. She has the nerve to ask for a lift home from the station ( which is only a 5-10 min bus ride straight to our front door). And if you try to talk to her she gives you attitude and rolls her eyes. She does this to mum and dad too, which is so disrespectful.
Kofta is the baby in the family so we tend to be lenient with her. Generally she is well behaved and listens to you and does the jobs you ask her to. But lately shes turning into spaceman. She wakes up late, lounges about in her sleeping suit all day and sits in front of the TV watching music channels or hiding out in her room texting her friends.
Today mum sent me upstairs to revise ( first time ever!), so I gave kofta a list of chores to be done- mainly loading the washing machine, tidy the kitchen n sitting room. To me, this is a small list as I tend to clean up the whole house and cook dinner all by 4pm. Mum went out and I took my nephews to the park with my older sister for an hour or two. I come home and see that kofta has not moved from the sofa since I left her! I was so mad and scolded her and she just stared blankly past me to the TV.
Now I am normally a laid back, tolerant, and patient person. But theres a critical point I reach that makes me so mad with people, including my parents, that I just go into this weird state where I am unresponsive and refuse to talk to people or interact. I refuse to eat food or go out anywhere.
I have stopped trying to talk to my parents about their behaviour because mum just makes excuses and Dad...well hes just given up with them too. It makes me so mad to see how they are allowed to get away with such behaviour. When I was at their age, I never stayed out late. I called my mum to let her know where I was and how long I would be. I would still do my chores even if I had loads of Uni work to do. I never socialised with friends that much as mum didnt approve. And I still done even though Im turning 26 this summer.
Some people might think I am jealous or that I am over exaggerating it but I have spoken to my other sisters ( 1 older & 1 younger than me) and they agree.

At this moment in time I seriously feel like beating the living day lights of both of them for being the worst sisters in the world ever.
But I know there will come a time, where I wont be there to help look after the house or baby sit. I wont be there to clean, tidy, wash, cook, shop. And I will definately wont be there when they need my sisterly help and advice.

4 comments:

Effervescent said...

Awww dudee sounds STRESSING!!!
sorry but i have to LOL @ 'kofta' lol.
Anyways, they are old enough to understand their responsibilities, but I guess because they have older sisters they can get away with it because the responsility falls more on the older ones first.

But one thing I recommend is keep being patient. I have a little sisters who can be soooo annoying! but lately I've realised how I have to alter myself for her to change. So the frustration and moments of anger are under control now and I havent had an arguement with her in quite a long time! But unfortunately my older and lil sis are still always at it.
When your gone they will realise how hard it is and its going to be even more difficult for them if they dont start doing things now.
I think your parents shouldnt give up! That just gives them the green for 'do what you want' and then they just do what they want (as you know)

Atleast you have your trusty blog to vent the anger :)
They need a routine, a habit of doing chores, when theyr that old I'm sure they should understand. Try talking to them, in a light-hearted convo and make it sound like their duty (dont make it seem like your having a go at them that will push them other way)

Kav-Lee said...

Ive tried it all!
ive even changed my behaviour by not complaining to them or my mum/dad. Just getting on with the work u know.

But its so frustrating to see their attitudes when they know i have exams too! I need time to revise but obligated to help mum coz she's nt well!

Effervescent said...

aww ye i understand that man its reallyyy frustrating! I was in that position before, i think when i had Alevel exams and my sis had uni exams even for the january exams at uni, mum wernt well and then sis is alwayyyss revising (obviously she needs to but i needed to aswel) and it felt like everyone was thinking my sisters studies are more important than mine.

Dw inshaAllah Allah will reward you for your patience and controlling your behaviour, and keep praying and He will make it all work out. You can never fail when Allah is by your side x inshaAllah your mum gets better soon x

Kav-Lee said...

JZk for your words!

Mum has her good days and bad days.... I just want someone to take the reigns for a while so I can have some me time!

Allah knows best! I just pray he keeps me strong n full of faith