What time is it?

Space man has just strolled through the door at 10.05pm.
Apparently she was at Uni and our cousin came down so they stayed til late and then cousin dropped her off.

I have not said anythign to anyone yet. I am saving that for the tete a tete I am going to have with Dad soon about the situation at home. I am not happy with the double standards and somethign has to change or I might go mad and one day walk out the door!!!

Double Standards

I dont know how to start this particular post because I am sooo angry and frustrated with my situation/life. I just want to type out all my anger. But I will try to be clear and concise so I make sense but bear with me if I lose focus.
As you are aware I have an exam coming up... I am already stressed about it enough as it is. But home life isnt helping me feel better either.

I have, at present, 2 younger sisters...lets call them spaceman and kofta ( their nicknames as kids). Spaceman is in her 3rd year of Uni and kofta is retaking her GCSEs at college. Now spaceman has exams coming up too so I sympathise. But it is extremely frustrating to see her wake up late and swan out of the house and roll in late in the evening. Slowly, day by day, shes been coming home later and later in the evenings. Last night she came home at 9.30pm.
This isnt just something she does because of studying for exams....this is her all year round. She has zero empathy for anyone in the house. She neglects all her chores at home. She has the nerve to ask for a lift home from the station ( which is only a 5-10 min bus ride straight to our front door). And if you try to talk to her she gives you attitude and rolls her eyes. She does this to mum and dad too, which is so disrespectful.
Kofta is the baby in the family so we tend to be lenient with her. Generally she is well behaved and listens to you and does the jobs you ask her to. But lately shes turning into spaceman. She wakes up late, lounges about in her sleeping suit all day and sits in front of the TV watching music channels or hiding out in her room texting her friends.
Today mum sent me upstairs to revise ( first time ever!), so I gave kofta a list of chores to be done- mainly loading the washing machine, tidy the kitchen n sitting room. To me, this is a small list as I tend to clean up the whole house and cook dinner all by 4pm. Mum went out and I took my nephews to the park with my older sister for an hour or two. I come home and see that kofta has not moved from the sofa since I left her! I was so mad and scolded her and she just stared blankly past me to the TV.
Now I am normally a laid back, tolerant, and patient person. But theres a critical point I reach that makes me so mad with people, including my parents, that I just go into this weird state where I am unresponsive and refuse to talk to people or interact. I refuse to eat food or go out anywhere.
I have stopped trying to talk to my parents about their behaviour because mum just makes excuses and Dad...well hes just given up with them too. It makes me so mad to see how they are allowed to get away with such behaviour. When I was at their age, I never stayed out late. I called my mum to let her know where I was and how long I would be. I would still do my chores even if I had loads of Uni work to do. I never socialised with friends that much as mum didnt approve. And I still done even though Im turning 26 this summer.
Some people might think I am jealous or that I am over exaggerating it but I have spoken to my other sisters ( 1 older & 1 younger than me) and they agree.

At this moment in time I seriously feel like beating the living day lights of both of them for being the worst sisters in the world ever.
But I know there will come a time, where I wont be there to help look after the house or baby sit. I wont be there to clean, tidy, wash, cook, shop. And I will definately wont be there when they need my sisterly help and advice.

............

I have an exam on the 15th.... im so scared im going to fail it.
Every time I start revising, im thinking about topics i've not revised and worry they will turn up on the exam. At night I find it hard to sleep...and when I do finally fall asleep I dream of the exam. My heart pounds just thinking about the exam. Every little thing sets me off. I either get real emotional or real angry. Im worried I will slide into depression.
I wish I could walk out the door and hide somewhere for a week. No contact with anyone. No work. No family or friends.......... no worries!
For now though, I will carry on revising.....suppress the anxiety and fear deep within my heart and pray extra hard to Allah for his help and guidance.

The Interview!

I travelled up to the Midlands for my first ever interview.

I am feeling positive. There was a lot of smiling and nodding ( which I take as a good sign)
I answered the questions and mentioned hwo well they were doing with controlling infections so hopefully that scored some brownie points!
A friend said I should keep a record of the type of questions they asked for reference purposes... so I am adding them here as a reminder for myself!

Interviewer 1:
Tell us about any project work you did. What was it about? What techniques did you use? What was the outcome?

Interviewer 2:
What do you know about HAI (hosp acq infections) and name some examples.
How would you carry out infection control in the lab?

Interviewer 3:
Give an example of where you communicated effectively with a person/ resolved issues?


IF I don't get this job then at least I have gained some insight into what type of Qs were asked and how to balance out my time effectively.
Will let you peeps know the outcome this interview soon.....

Attention Bloggers!

I am looking for blogs to follow. I am looking to read about like minded people living their lives and trying to be a better person. Im looking for blogs that will strike a cord with me, or feel like im reading about my own experiences....

So any of you beautiful people reading this blog then let me know of other blogs!!

Nuf luv

KavZ

Im feeling the burn!

I remember the days when:
I would go to bed late...and wake up 3 hours later feeling refreshed.
Run half way down the road for the bus.
Stay awake in a 3 hour lecture AND make copious notes that are legible.
Pull all nighters to finish coursework.
Exercise for a solid 2 hours and have more energy than when I started....

Nowadays...
I only get out of bed after 9 hours sleep ( minimum)
Running for the bus is no longer an option...theres bound to be another one coming within 10 minutes.
I dont attend lectures anymore ( thankfully)
Nor do I have courseworks due in any time soon!
I suffer muscle aches for 4 days AFTER completing one exercise class!

BUT I will persevere with the exercise. Hopefully I'll lose some love handles and gain a bigger set of lungs!