Its been a very long time since I have been on here. Partly because Im working 7 days a week. And then my modem messed up and I lost my internet dongle :(
But now I have some connectivity to the net ( albeit not very good), I thought I should drop a quick message to let my 7 followers know Im still alive and kicking.
My life feels like its been on pause for the last few months. I have got nothing to show for my time. Apart from all this work I have been doing (At least my credit card is now clear and I am no longer in overdraft AND slowly paying back all those Uni loans!!). Its an achievement of some sort I guess but it is not want I was hoping for.
I was hoping to be in some kind of a permanent job related to my field of interest ( Biological Sciences)
I was hoping for a change in my home situation, where my parents would start treating me like an adult.
I was hoping for a change in my relationship status. At best I can change it to "complicated" rather than "single".
To cheer myself up I have been watching the recent adaptations of Jane Austens novels... My favourite is Persuasion. Anne Elliot reminds me of me!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Im SAD...and im not talking about seasonal affect disorder
I have been feeling quite sad and melancholy lately. I dont know how to express it but I just do not want to get out of bed for work. I dotn want to do anything. I dont want to speak to anyone.
I just want to be left alone.
The only thing that cheers me up is seeing my beautiful cat and cuddling up to him
I just want to be left alone.
The only thing that cheers me up is seeing my beautiful cat and cuddling up to him
Sunday, October 3, 2010
MMmmm Meringue thingies!!
On my way home from work yesterday I popped into Sainsburys to buy a birthday cake for my sister. As I passed the bakery counter, I saw some delicious pastries so decided to treat myself, my mum and sister to some.
I chose a pastry that was 2 pieces of meringue stuck together with cream with fresh fruit on the top. I can honestly say that it was THE most yummiest thing I have ever tasted!! :P
And seeing as it was meringue which is pretty light, it didnt spoil my appetite and was still able to enjoy me dinner!
Check it out next time your at Sainsburys!!
I chose a pastry that was 2 pieces of meringue stuck together with cream with fresh fruit on the top. I can honestly say that it was THE most yummiest thing I have ever tasted!! :P
And seeing as it was meringue which is pretty light, it didnt spoil my appetite and was still able to enjoy me dinner!
Check it out next time your at Sainsburys!!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Winter Reds...the opposite of winter blues
Im super excited that the days are getting shorter and the prayer times are changing.....
I could be IN bed by 9.30pm if I read Isha at 9pm! That makes em sound old and sad...but it was so tough during Ramadhaan to be waking up for Suhoor...going to work and not being able to sleep until I had read Isha. I was surviving on very little sleep and physically didnt have strength to do any extra ibaadah like I wanted to.
But soon I aim to make up my 6 missed fasts and keep an extra 6 for my benefit once I am free from exam stress and can handle fasting and working at the same time (inshAllah!)
I could be IN bed by 9.30pm if I read Isha at 9pm! That makes em sound old and sad...but it was so tough during Ramadhaan to be waking up for Suhoor...going to work and not being able to sleep until I had read Isha. I was surviving on very little sleep and physically didnt have strength to do any extra ibaadah like I wanted to.
But soon I aim to make up my 6 missed fasts and keep an extra 6 for my benefit once I am free from exam stress and can handle fasting and working at the same time (inshAllah!)
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilahi Raji'un
I hope everyone had a lovely Eid this year and may Allah bless us with the next one.
I just wanted to give a little shout out to two people who didnt live to see and celebrate Eid this year.
One was an aunty who was battling cancer. She passed away at the starting of the final Roza (Fast). The other was a young cancer stricken boy (at the hospital I work at) who died on Eid day. May Allah grant the a place in Jannatul Firdous and grant their families patience and strength to get through this difficult time.
I also wanted to ask people to please visit the sick. It is something that is recommended by the prophet. It allows us to appreciate our own good health and to thank Allah. It allows a sick person to feel better knowing that people care. It allows us to add to our sawaab (blessings).
Taken from http://ahmed2004uk.blogspot.com/2006/07/virtues-of-visiting-sick.html
Hadrat Abu Moosa (R.A.) reports that the Prophet (pbuh) said, 'Visit the sick, feed the hungry and free the one who is imprisoned (unjustly).' [Sahih Bukhaari]
Hadrat Abu Hurairah (R.A.) reports that the Prophet (pbuh) said, "On the Day of Qiyaamah, Allah Ta'ala will announce: O son of Aadam, I was sick yet you did not visit me. He will reply, 'O Allah, how could I have visited You since you are Rabbul 'aalameen? Allah Ta'ala will say: Did you not know that so and so slave of mine was sick, and yet you did not visit him? Should you have visited him you would have found Me by him. " [Sahih Muslim]Hadrat Ali (R.A.) reports that the Prophet (pbuh) said, 'When a Muslim visits his sick Muslim brother in the morning, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the evening. And when he visits him in the evening, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the morning, and he will be granted a garden for it in Jannah.' [Timizi, Abu Dawood]
Hadrat Anas (R.A.) reports that the Prophet (pbuh) said, 'When a person performs a proper wudhu (observing all its etiquette) and then goes to visit his sick Muslim brother with the intention of gaining sawaab, then he will be kept far away from the Fire of Jahannam by a distance equivalent of Sixty years.' [Abu Dawood]
Our Beloved Prophet (pbuh) also said, 'Whoever visits a sick person (for the pleasure of Allah), a Caller from the skies announces: You are indeed blessed and your walking is blessed and you have (by this noble act) built yourself a home in Jannah.' [Ibn Maajah]
I just wanted to give a little shout out to two people who didnt live to see and celebrate Eid this year.
One was an aunty who was battling cancer. She passed away at the starting of the final Roza (Fast). The other was a young cancer stricken boy (at the hospital I work at) who died on Eid day. May Allah grant the a place in Jannatul Firdous and grant their families patience and strength to get through this difficult time.
I also wanted to ask people to please visit the sick. It is something that is recommended by the prophet. It allows us to appreciate our own good health and to thank Allah. It allows a sick person to feel better knowing that people care. It allows us to add to our sawaab (blessings).
Taken from http://ahmed2004uk.blogspot.com/2006/07/virtues-of-visiting-sick.html
Hadrat Abu Moosa (R.A.) reports that the Prophet (pbuh) said, 'Visit the sick, feed the hungry and free the one who is imprisoned (unjustly).' [Sahih Bukhaari]
Hadrat Abu Hurairah (R.A.) reports that the Prophet (pbuh) said, "On the Day of Qiyaamah, Allah Ta'ala will announce: O son of Aadam, I was sick yet you did not visit me. He will reply, 'O Allah, how could I have visited You since you are Rabbul 'aalameen? Allah Ta'ala will say: Did you not know that so and so slave of mine was sick, and yet you did not visit him? Should you have visited him you would have found Me by him. " [Sahih Muslim]Hadrat Ali (R.A.) reports that the Prophet (pbuh) said, 'When a Muslim visits his sick Muslim brother in the morning, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the evening. And when he visits him in the evening, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the morning, and he will be granted a garden for it in Jannah.' [Timizi, Abu Dawood]
Hadrat Anas (R.A.) reports that the Prophet (pbuh) said, 'When a person performs a proper wudhu (observing all its etiquette) and then goes to visit his sick Muslim brother with the intention of gaining sawaab, then he will be kept far away from the Fire of Jahannam by a distance equivalent of Sixty years.' [Abu Dawood]
Our Beloved Prophet (pbuh) also said, 'Whoever visits a sick person (for the pleasure of Allah), a Caller from the skies announces: You are indeed blessed and your walking is blessed and you have (by this noble act) built yourself a home in Jannah.' [Ibn Maajah]
Saturday, September 4, 2010
The faint sound of wedding bells
Although I have spoken to Mum on the matter of my marriage, she still seems to think that I will accept a proposal of which she approves. She has taken to mentioning my wedding at every moment we are alone.
How do I convince her that if I marry it will be to someone I chose myself?
How do I convince her without causing a BIG family rift?
I think I am going to be a very depressed woman soon
How do I convince her that if I marry it will be to someone I chose myself?
How do I convince her without causing a BIG family rift?
I think I am going to be a very depressed woman soon
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Full Bellies But Empty Hearts
"O ye who believe! fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you that ye may (learn) self-restraint." S2,V183
I love this month. I love the feeling of being united with the ummah, all carrying out the same act.
The fasting for 16 hours is hard but I dont feel any more tired than normal. I have even had 2 people comment about how "healthy/radiant" I look. I do have moments of lethargy and abdominal pains but alhumdulillah nothing that I cant handle. If anything its teaching me to appreciate how blessed I am to be able to afford food and its effect upon the body.
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Whoever does not give up forged speech and evil actions, Allah is not in need of his leaving his food and drink (i.e. Allah will not accept his fasting.)".
Many of us are struggling to improve ourselves this ramadhaan, not just by abstaining from food, but by holding our tongues, not listening to bad talk, not backbiting, not arguing, not becoming angry. And I am the first to admit its hard!! It's inevitable that a certain degree of irritability creeps in when your tired and hungry. Yet we keep striving.
Yet there are some muslims out there who give up food but not their bad habits. they still gossip, fight, backbite, and lie.
Take the case for the 2 murdered brothers in Sialkot, Pakistan. Brutally slain in front of a large crowd that included police. Not one person had the decency to stand up and help those brothers. Doesn't a persons fast become negated by simply taking part (even as a spectator) in this scene? Allah doesn't accept the fast of an evil doer.
How about those who choose to exploit the devastated masses after the flood in Pakistan. Depriving so many needy people of basic water, food and medical attention. Siphoning off donated money and supplies to line their own pockets.
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained."
Makes you think doenst it????
I love this month. I love the feeling of being united with the ummah, all carrying out the same act.
The fasting for 16 hours is hard but I dont feel any more tired than normal. I have even had 2 people comment about how "healthy/radiant" I look. I do have moments of lethargy and abdominal pains but alhumdulillah nothing that I cant handle. If anything its teaching me to appreciate how blessed I am to be able to afford food and its effect upon the body.
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Whoever does not give up forged speech and evil actions, Allah is not in need of his leaving his food and drink (i.e. Allah will not accept his fasting.)".
Many of us are struggling to improve ourselves this ramadhaan, not just by abstaining from food, but by holding our tongues, not listening to bad talk, not backbiting, not arguing, not becoming angry. And I am the first to admit its hard!! It's inevitable that a certain degree of irritability creeps in when your tired and hungry. Yet we keep striving.
Yet there are some muslims out there who give up food but not their bad habits. they still gossip, fight, backbite, and lie.
Take the case for the 2 murdered brothers in Sialkot, Pakistan. Brutally slain in front of a large crowd that included police. Not one person had the decency to stand up and help those brothers. Doesn't a persons fast become negated by simply taking part (even as a spectator) in this scene? Allah doesn't accept the fast of an evil doer.
How about those who choose to exploit the devastated masses after the flood in Pakistan. Depriving so many needy people of basic water, food and medical attention. Siphoning off donated money and supplies to line their own pockets.
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained."
Makes you think doenst it????
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Thats not Hijab!!! (is it?)
I dont know if anyone else has noticed this but I am seeing a lot of hijabis that are dressed in a way that I wouldn't call modest.
There seems to be a growing number of women who have the hair covered yet seem to wear a mid length dress with leggings. I dont know about other people but I personally feel that as a muslimah, this wouldnt constitute as covering up.
Before I wore hijab ( and after I started), I would try my utmost to avoid fitted clothing. I stuck to loose trousers and jeans, and my tops were generally 2 sizes bigger than I actually was.
One can argue that the body is covered and that no flesh is visible (as is the case). And I am in agreement with this. But leggings allow the shape of the legs to be seen.
Isn't the female form more attractive to a man than her hair? Shouldn't a woman first learn to cover her body before embracing the scarf/veil?
“Modesty is from the faith, and the faith is in Paradise.” (Ahmed)
There seems to be a growing number of women who have the hair covered yet seem to wear a mid length dress with leggings. I dont know about other people but I personally feel that as a muslimah, this wouldnt constitute as covering up.
Before I wore hijab ( and after I started), I would try my utmost to avoid fitted clothing. I stuck to loose trousers and jeans, and my tops were generally 2 sizes bigger than I actually was.
One can argue that the body is covered and that no flesh is visible (as is the case). And I am in agreement with this. But leggings allow the shape of the legs to be seen.
Isn't the female form more attractive to a man than her hair? Shouldn't a woman first learn to cover her body before embracing the scarf/veil?
“Modesty is from the faith, and the faith is in Paradise.” (Ahmed)
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Virginity Fix??
There was an article in the Evening Standard paper, this evening, which made me very angry. Click on the link below for a version written in 2007:
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23421279-women-get-virginity-fix-nhs-operations-in-muslim-driven-trend.do
Apparently a large number of muslim women were having hymen repair surgery to give the allusion of being virgins for their wedding night. I found it completely abhorrent that such muslims think that by having their hymen repaired and decieving their husband is acceptable.
We need to educate these young women (as well as the muslim community) about the workings of female body. A hymen may tear and cause bleeding by exercising or by overstretching the pelvic muscles. In some cases, theres already no hymen OR that it does not tear during intercourse at all!
And dont get me started on women who fornicate and THEN have surgery to become "virgins".
I also understand that such articles may be biased against muslims (as they normally are) but I know there are some truths to this article.
How do you guys feel about this subject??
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23421279-women-get-virginity-fix-nhs-operations-in-muslim-driven-trend.do
Apparently a large number of muslim women were having hymen repair surgery to give the allusion of being virgins for their wedding night. I found it completely abhorrent that such muslims think that by having their hymen repaired and decieving their husband is acceptable.
We need to educate these young women (as well as the muslim community) about the workings of female body. A hymen may tear and cause bleeding by exercising or by overstretching the pelvic muscles. In some cases, theres already no hymen OR that it does not tear during intercourse at all!
And dont get me started on women who fornicate and THEN have surgery to become "virgins".
I also understand that such articles may be biased against muslims (as they normally are) but I know there are some truths to this article.
How do you guys feel about this subject??
Thursday, July 22, 2010
ARGGHHHHH
^^^^ Thats how I feel.
I had to take my mum to the market to buy her weekly fruit and vegetable. As you are aware, we are not on the most best of terms. So apart from answering any questions she has, I dont say a word. As we are driving to Iceland, she is asking me why I am like this. I said either I keep shtum or we can have an argument because thats what inevitably happens with us.
So, I explain to her how I feel about the behaviour of some of my sisters from before my exam up until these last few days. For each and every point I make, she makes excuses. She starts generalising. So I asked if I had been lacking in my duties at home. She said no. So I asked why lump me in with everyone when she starts yelling? Why bother vocalizing the issue insteas of DOING something about it?
As always, he turns the whole topic around and starts acting like the martyr and also accuses me of overdramatising the issue.
So I shut up at that point.
On a positive note: I am back to full time work on Monday. So I will be working 7 days a week for the next 4 weeks. YESSS!!!!!
I had to take my mum to the market to buy her weekly fruit and vegetable. As you are aware, we are not on the most best of terms. So apart from answering any questions she has, I dont say a word. As we are driving to Iceland, she is asking me why I am like this. I said either I keep shtum or we can have an argument because thats what inevitably happens with us.
So, I explain to her how I feel about the behaviour of some of my sisters from before my exam up until these last few days. For each and every point I make, she makes excuses. She starts generalising. So I asked if I had been lacking in my duties at home. She said no. So I asked why lump me in with everyone when she starts yelling? Why bother vocalizing the issue insteas of DOING something about it?
As always, he turns the whole topic around and starts acting like the martyr and also accuses me of overdramatising the issue.
So I shut up at that point.
On a positive note: I am back to full time work on Monday. So I will be working 7 days a week for the next 4 weeks. YESSS!!!!!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Dark Side!
Mother dear has been on a rampage since Friday.
I have ceased to be drawn into a confrontation with her. I know that no good will come of it IF I were to speak my mind!
Mum once said to me " Koi bandey paani naal bartan thoney, thu the Mamu peshaap naal thoney ho!" ( translated as: Some people was pots with water, you and your Uncle wash them with wee!")
Basically some people beat around the bush and sugar coat things or try and be all "neutral" when theres an argument. Whereas myself and this Uncle are just straight up about everything. No backchatting, no lies, no sugarcoating!
I agree with her on this point, but I also know when to just keep my mouth shut. No matter what I say, her views and ideas would never change. She could never accept that my point of view may be just as valid as hers.
Thus, I have avoided talking to her......bliss!
I have ceased to be drawn into a confrontation with her. I know that no good will come of it IF I were to speak my mind!
Mum once said to me " Koi bandey paani naal bartan thoney, thu the Mamu peshaap naal thoney ho!" ( translated as: Some people was pots with water, you and your Uncle wash them with wee!")
Basically some people beat around the bush and sugar coat things or try and be all "neutral" when theres an argument. Whereas myself and this Uncle are just straight up about everything. No backchatting, no lies, no sugarcoating!
I agree with her on this point, but I also know when to just keep my mouth shut. No matter what I say, her views and ideas would never change. She could never accept that my point of view may be just as valid as hers.
Thus, I have avoided talking to her......bliss!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Ramadhan Prep!
A/S peeps!
I think it is about time that I posted up my plans for this Ramadhan.
Alhumdulillah I keep my fasts, pray my Salah, I rolled the springs and stuffed the samosas, I've cleaned the house, I've cleaned my room! AND I've worked full time too.
But I always feel that little bit empty after fasting finishes. And I KNOW it is because I never made full use of my time. There was always something that prevented me from reading more Qur'an, or prayign extra nafls, or reading more about the Deen. And every year, I promise myself that next time I will try harder.
Inshallah this year I will try ( and report on my efforts). I have already started reading Qur'an and hope to finish it before Ramadhan and trying to read ALL my rakats.
Ok I am going to put my "to do" list here:
1) Read/complete the Qur'an
2) Read all Rakats
3) Get back into reading english translation of Qur'an
4) Finish learning Allahs' names ( I know the first 16 by heart)
5) Learn 1 new Surah.
I THINK that is enough for now. I dont want to overdo it because I might be going back to full time work in August to clear my overdraft (again).
What do you guys think??
I think it is about time that I posted up my plans for this Ramadhan.
Alhumdulillah I keep my fasts, pray my Salah, I rolled the springs and stuffed the samosas, I've cleaned the house, I've cleaned my room! AND I've worked full time too.
But I always feel that little bit empty after fasting finishes. And I KNOW it is because I never made full use of my time. There was always something that prevented me from reading more Qur'an, or prayign extra nafls, or reading more about the Deen. And every year, I promise myself that next time I will try harder.
Inshallah this year I will try ( and report on my efforts). I have already started reading Qur'an and hope to finish it before Ramadhan and trying to read ALL my rakats.
Ok I am going to put my "to do" list here:
1) Read/complete the Qur'an
2) Read all Rakats
3) Get back into reading english translation of Qur'an
4) Finish learning Allahs' names ( I know the first 16 by heart)
5) Learn 1 new Surah.
I THINK that is enough for now. I dont want to overdo it because I might be going back to full time work in August to clear my overdraft (again).
What do you guys think??
z
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Maano my Kitten
There's a saying that you can get on a key ring or fridge magnet and right now it fits my life so well....
" The more people I meet, the more I love my cat!"
(Maano asleep on my bed by the window...sooo shweet!)
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Exam Confusion
So, I recieve my candidate number and exam timetable for my 1st year retake paper on Thursday. All good, just as I expect.
Friday, another similar letter arrives through the post. 2nd year exam timetable. Ok now I am confused. I am pretty sure that the course organiser didnt email me any details of 2nd year exams. So I check my email.... As I thought. No mention of an exam. I ring them up to check. Apparently I failed the 2nd year paper and have to retake. So I said that it was not stated on the word document that was emailed to me back in December stating what I needed to retake. I am still expected to sit the exam.
I call up student welfare and cry down the phone to the most loveliest and kind woman, who listens to my situation and puts me through to someone else who handles this stuff. By this point the course organiser calls back and APOLOGISES for the error and suggests I could still sit the exam as I should already have revised part of the module for the c/w exam I had back in June. I start crying again ( Im sooo embarassed coz I am not normally so emotional!).
I explained that I am crap at exams and theres no way I can revise 9 months worth of material in less than a week AND pass THAT exam. I failed it the first time WITH revision!!!
The course organiser said that she will speak to the exam board and see whether I could sit a different paper at a different time OR wait til next year and retake it.
Everything happens for a reason. And Allah tests his believers. And HE knows I can handle it. But Alhumdulillah he made it easy for me.
Allahu Akbar!
Friday, another similar letter arrives through the post. 2nd year exam timetable. Ok now I am confused. I am pretty sure that the course organiser didnt email me any details of 2nd year exams. So I check my email.... As I thought. No mention of an exam. I ring them up to check. Apparently I failed the 2nd year paper and have to retake. So I said that it was not stated on the word document that was emailed to me back in December stating what I needed to retake. I am still expected to sit the exam.
I call up student welfare and cry down the phone to the most loveliest and kind woman, who listens to my situation and puts me through to someone else who handles this stuff. By this point the course organiser calls back and APOLOGISES for the error and suggests I could still sit the exam as I should already have revised part of the module for the c/w exam I had back in June. I start crying again ( Im sooo embarassed coz I am not normally so emotional!).
I explained that I am crap at exams and theres no way I can revise 9 months worth of material in less than a week AND pass THAT exam. I failed it the first time WITH revision!!!
The course organiser said that she will speak to the exam board and see whether I could sit a different paper at a different time OR wait til next year and retake it.
Everything happens for a reason. And Allah tests his believers. And HE knows I can handle it. But Alhumdulillah he made it easy for me.
Allahu Akbar!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
What to write?
I cant think of what to write in this moment in time that will enlighten you on whats happening with me, and make me feel better about myself.
I just feel so depressed with life. I LOVE Allah and Im keeping up with my prayers, but inside I feel empty. I want to rebel. I want to pack a bag and leave home. I want to be alone. I dont want to live this life as me anymore. I want to be a complete different person.
How sad to think that I have lived this life for 26 years and theres been very little joy or comfort in it. And its leaves me hopeless for the future.
I just feel so depressed with life. I LOVE Allah and Im keeping up with my prayers, but inside I feel empty. I want to rebel. I want to pack a bag and leave home. I want to be alone. I dont want to live this life as me anymore. I want to be a complete different person.
How sad to think that I have lived this life for 26 years and theres been very little joy or comfort in it. And its leaves me hopeless for the future.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Revision time.....
Im totally freaking out....
I have an exam on the 16th June and another one on the 6th July. So far I have done diddly squat to prepare for them. It is not that I dont want to... and in the comign weeks I know I will buckle down and start revising. But what gets me is why do I procrastinate when I knwo I have to revise?
Why do I make time to read novels or watch some "interesting" film on telly, or call up friends, and even on occasions cook a 3 course meal for the family, when I know I should be in my room, making notes, reading lectures and generally studying hard??
I am super efficient when I have coursework deadlines..... I prepare in advance, type things as I go along, keep up to date with everything and work extra hard to get a really good coursework mark...but I just cant seem to muster the same enthusiasm for revising.
DO you guys have any interesting revision techniques that help you to learn?
I have an exam on the 16th June and another one on the 6th July. So far I have done diddly squat to prepare for them. It is not that I dont want to... and in the comign weeks I know I will buckle down and start revising. But what gets me is why do I procrastinate when I knwo I have to revise?
Why do I make time to read novels or watch some "interesting" film on telly, or call up friends, and even on occasions cook a 3 course meal for the family, when I know I should be in my room, making notes, reading lectures and generally studying hard??
I am super efficient when I have coursework deadlines..... I prepare in advance, type things as I go along, keep up to date with everything and work extra hard to get a really good coursework mark...but I just cant seem to muster the same enthusiasm for revising.
DO you guys have any interesting revision techniques that help you to learn?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Back in my day......
We used to rent movies from the video shop and sit around watching the films as a family. Adults on the sofa and kids on the floor. Instead of nachos and popcorn, we would be munching on fried papar and bombay mix. And all the movies had adverts, every 15 minutes, that consisted of doubling glazing.....basmati rice/ atta (flour).... or other movies.
And as with all Asian movies, they used to last a good 3 hours!! No joke.
As the years have gone by, we have had less time to sit there and enjoy our "cinema" nights. Although my sisters and I do make a concerted effort to have a movie night where we watch chick flicks, gorge on junk food and generally stay up til dawn messing about.
Ok well the point I was suppose to make was that have you noticed how the quality of films has deteriorated over the last decade? Sex and violence has become the unique selling point as well as the age limit for such films being lowered. Films that should be classed as 18 are labelled as 12 or 15 and swear words like "sh*t" are uttered in kiddy movies.
And maybe it's because I am older now that I dislike the current movies. I find that the storyline is just a rip off of an older film with a few remixes and some scantily clad men and women to attract the young generation....
What happened to good old films that portrayed women as shy and innocent? Men who were brave and respected? Storylines that actually had a story? Songs that had meaningful lyrics and flowed with the plot?
I miss the type of film that you could watch with your parents and not feel embarrassed because there was an inapproriate scene! lol
Some people say times are changing and the movie business has evolved......but I have evolved to appreciate a good plot over special effects and big name artists!
Given a choice of watching a new blockbuster or a movie from the 70s........ I think its time to get out the blankets and the bombay mix!!
( By the way I'm referring to Bollywood type movies here!!)
And as with all Asian movies, they used to last a good 3 hours!! No joke.
As the years have gone by, we have had less time to sit there and enjoy our "cinema" nights. Although my sisters and I do make a concerted effort to have a movie night where we watch chick flicks, gorge on junk food and generally stay up til dawn messing about.
Ok well the point I was suppose to make was that have you noticed how the quality of films has deteriorated over the last decade? Sex and violence has become the unique selling point as well as the age limit for such films being lowered. Films that should be classed as 18 are labelled as 12 or 15 and swear words like "sh*t" are uttered in kiddy movies.
And maybe it's because I am older now that I dislike the current movies. I find that the storyline is just a rip off of an older film with a few remixes and some scantily clad men and women to attract the young generation....
What happened to good old films that portrayed women as shy and innocent? Men who were brave and respected? Storylines that actually had a story? Songs that had meaningful lyrics and flowed with the plot?
I miss the type of film that you could watch with your parents and not feel embarrassed because there was an inapproriate scene! lol
Some people say times are changing and the movie business has evolved......but I have evolved to appreciate a good plot over special effects and big name artists!
Given a choice of watching a new blockbuster or a movie from the 70s........ I think its time to get out the blankets and the bombay mix!!
( By the way I'm referring to Bollywood type movies here!!)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
I need to get something off my chest.......
In November 2007, there was an article about how womens bust sizes have increased over the years. The average size is now a 36C, compared to a modest 34B a decade ago.
All you have to do is look around you to see that the younger generation is definately more fuller figured than the older generation. AND companies were now producing larger sizes to accommodate public demand.
Bearing this in mind I decided to have a fitting done in Debenhams, as I always felt I was wearing the wrong size. Wearing the wrong size for years resulted in scars where the straps sit on my shoulder, angry red marks on my ribs and back, and neck and back pain. Not forgetting the harrassment from boys at school and the jealousy of friends wishing they were bigger.
I was quite nervous at first as I thought I would have to reveal all to some stranger. But the woman serving was reassuring, motherly and made me feel comfortable. After discussing what I was looking for, she picked a few samples in my size to try on. I was pleased to see that not only was it comfortable but the fit was great. My only gripe was underwire ( I detest it!), which is needed to structure the bra and hold the shape.
Now that I knew my size, I felt it was time to start investing in some quality support for my chest.
As you know there are many different designs out there: full cup, demi cup, half cup, balconette, plunge, padded, t shirt, push up, nursing, maternity, multiway, strapless...the list is looooong!
I decided with buying some normal every day wear ones, and maybe one or two nice ones for special occasions.
So..... I had soem free time after my interview on Friday and decided to pop down Oxford street and check out the large department stores there. Due to their vast area, they can cater for all different sizes and designs and I would be spoiled for choice.
My first stop was M&S. I wondered around for a bit......checked some out. Found a nice design I liked, not too pricey. So, I decided to search teh shelf for my size. And I'm searching. And searching. And searching. Ok so they dont have my size. "Never mind", I thought,"I'll just try another design". So off I went having another look around, checking the shelves for my size as Im going along. It got to a point where I was contemplating whether I was losing my vision because I coudl nto find anythign in my size at all. And when I asked a staff member she said if it wasn't on the shelf then they don't have it as all stock was on shop floor.
So I decided to try another large store, Debenhams. I was measured in one of their branches and found a few so they must have some here right?
WRONG!
I could not find my size in anything and the advice from the sales assistant was to order online.
I done know about others, but I like to try before I buy!
Nevertheless, I decided that there are loads of sites on the web that cater for all sizes.... La senza, Figleaves, Bravissimo to name just a few. Surely I shouldn't have a problem finding my size?!
Result: After nearly four hours of searching, I still have not found anything! The bras are either ugly or maternity bras or out of stock. And I have wasted four hours of my life.
My message to bra stockists is this:
Seeing as women have evolved to have larger chest sizes, would it not be smarter to capitalise on this and stock greater designs and quantities of sizes that are needed rather than having a whole lingerie section dedicated to the A and B cups?????
All you have to do is look around you to see that the younger generation is definately more fuller figured than the older generation. AND companies were now producing larger sizes to accommodate public demand.
Bearing this in mind I decided to have a fitting done in Debenhams, as I always felt I was wearing the wrong size. Wearing the wrong size for years resulted in scars where the straps sit on my shoulder, angry red marks on my ribs and back, and neck and back pain. Not forgetting the harrassment from boys at school and the jealousy of friends wishing they were bigger.
I was quite nervous at first as I thought I would have to reveal all to some stranger. But the woman serving was reassuring, motherly and made me feel comfortable. After discussing what I was looking for, she picked a few samples in my size to try on. I was pleased to see that not only was it comfortable but the fit was great. My only gripe was underwire ( I detest it!), which is needed to structure the bra and hold the shape.
Now that I knew my size, I felt it was time to start investing in some quality support for my chest.
As you know there are many different designs out there: full cup, demi cup, half cup, balconette, plunge, padded, t shirt, push up, nursing, maternity, multiway, strapless...the list is looooong!
I decided with buying some normal every day wear ones, and maybe one or two nice ones for special occasions.
So..... I had soem free time after my interview on Friday and decided to pop down Oxford street and check out the large department stores there. Due to their vast area, they can cater for all different sizes and designs and I would be spoiled for choice.
My first stop was M&S. I wondered around for a bit......checked some out. Found a nice design I liked, not too pricey. So, I decided to search teh shelf for my size. And I'm searching. And searching. And searching. Ok so they dont have my size. "Never mind", I thought,"I'll just try another design". So off I went having another look around, checking the shelves for my size as Im going along. It got to a point where I was contemplating whether I was losing my vision because I coudl nto find anythign in my size at all. And when I asked a staff member she said if it wasn't on the shelf then they don't have it as all stock was on shop floor.
So I decided to try another large store, Debenhams. I was measured in one of their branches and found a few so they must have some here right?
WRONG!
I could not find my size in anything and the advice from the sales assistant was to order online.
I done know about others, but I like to try before I buy!
Nevertheless, I decided that there are loads of sites on the web that cater for all sizes.... La senza, Figleaves, Bravissimo to name just a few. Surely I shouldn't have a problem finding my size?!
Result: After nearly four hours of searching, I still have not found anything! The bras are either ugly or maternity bras or out of stock. And I have wasted four hours of my life.
My message to bra stockists is this:
Seeing as women have evolved to have larger chest sizes, would it not be smarter to capitalise on this and stock greater designs and quantities of sizes that are needed rather than having a whole lingerie section dedicated to the A and B cups?????
Friday, May 28, 2010
Interviews
Ok just a quick update......
The two interviews went fine. I felt really positive about them. Unfortunately I didnt get the first one which is a shame because it meant commuting to Cambridge, which I was looking forward to because the scenery was AMAZING!
The second interview went well. We chit chatted a bit, and one of the interviewers used to live a few roads away from me. I'll know their decision next week.
Funnily enough I was called for another interview today.....the first part was a numeracy and literacy test. If I pass I get a call back. I know I will get one because those tests were too easy! I actually finished halfway through the allocated time and just sat there twiddling my thumbs!
I am deliberately not getting my hopes up....because whenever I do, I get shot down in flames, then crash and burn........God knows whats best for me and when the time is right I will find a good work place (inshallah!!)
Although I am asking you to please pray for me at this time as well. Allah may not answer my duas right now but he might answer yours!
The two interviews went fine. I felt really positive about them. Unfortunately I didnt get the first one which is a shame because it meant commuting to Cambridge, which I was looking forward to because the scenery was AMAZING!
The second interview went well. We chit chatted a bit, and one of the interviewers used to live a few roads away from me. I'll know their decision next week.
Funnily enough I was called for another interview today.....the first part was a numeracy and literacy test. If I pass I get a call back. I know I will get one because those tests were too easy! I actually finished halfway through the allocated time and just sat there twiddling my thumbs!
I am deliberately not getting my hopes up....because whenever I do, I get shot down in flames, then crash and burn........God knows whats best for me and when the time is right I will find a good work place (inshallah!!)
Although I am asking you to please pray for me at this time as well. Allah may not answer my duas right now but he might answer yours!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
In the words of Eminem..."Im back! tuh ner ner ner ner ner ner!"
A/S
Apologies for this extremely late posting. I have legit reasons for that!
I'm currently back at the hospital again. Temping. Which is good because it keeps my bank balance healthy! Anyways I have been doign the late shift at work (11am-7pm), which leaves me little time in the evenings to come online.
I have just one more week of work to go and then I've got hardcore revision to do for an exam in July. So again I might not be visible for a while. ALthough I will try and make a concerted effort to at least update my followers (all 2 of u!!).
Anyways just a quick update on whats been happening with me......
1) Spoke to parents about some one I would like to marry. Big guilt tripping lecture ensued from my mother. Accusations/allegations made against me were deeply shocking.
I have decided to cease communication with them in order to protect my tongue from saying something I may regret later. It might seem harsh, but I know myself and the minute I say whats in my heart is the day I wont be able to stay home anymore. So for now I am controlling my emotions and getting on with life.
2) I have 2 interviews this coming week. The posts are relatively low grade but I think we all need to start somewhere in life and for me if it is the bottom of the ladder then so be it. I am just glad someone has decided to give me an opportunity to present myself!
Anyhoo... ima clock off now and pray isha before going bed...got an early start in the morning!
A/S wr wb people!!!
Apologies for this extremely late posting. I have legit reasons for that!
I'm currently back at the hospital again. Temping. Which is good because it keeps my bank balance healthy! Anyways I have been doign the late shift at work (11am-7pm), which leaves me little time in the evenings to come online.
I have just one more week of work to go and then I've got hardcore revision to do for an exam in July. So again I might not be visible for a while. ALthough I will try and make a concerted effort to at least update my followers (all 2 of u!!).
Anyways just a quick update on whats been happening with me......
1) Spoke to parents about some one I would like to marry. Big guilt tripping lecture ensued from my mother. Accusations/allegations made against me were deeply shocking.
I have decided to cease communication with them in order to protect my tongue from saying something I may regret later. It might seem harsh, but I know myself and the minute I say whats in my heart is the day I wont be able to stay home anymore. So for now I am controlling my emotions and getting on with life.
2) I have 2 interviews this coming week. The posts are relatively low grade but I think we all need to start somewhere in life and for me if it is the bottom of the ladder then so be it. I am just glad someone has decided to give me an opportunity to present myself!
Anyhoo... ima clock off now and pray isha before going bed...got an early start in the morning!
A/S wr wb people!!!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The hunt is still on...
No luck with the Birmingham job.
They didnt even bother giving me any feedback even though I rang them! Oh well, Allah knows best.
I have applied for another 10 jobs over the last few weeks so INSHALLAH I will hear back from some of them. Its time to get this career started me thinks!
Please make du'a for me people!
They didnt even bother giving me any feedback even though I rang them! Oh well, Allah knows best.
I have applied for another 10 jobs over the last few weeks so INSHALLAH I will hear back from some of them. Its time to get this career started me thinks!
Please make du'a for me people!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
What time is it?
Space man has just strolled through the door at 10.05pm.
Apparently she was at Uni and our cousin came down so they stayed til late and then cousin dropped her off.
I have not said anythign to anyone yet. I am saving that for the tete a tete I am going to have with Dad soon about the situation at home. I am not happy with the double standards and somethign has to change or I might go mad and one day walk out the door!!!
Apparently she was at Uni and our cousin came down so they stayed til late and then cousin dropped her off.
I have not said anythign to anyone yet. I am saving that for the tete a tete I am going to have with Dad soon about the situation at home. I am not happy with the double standards and somethign has to change or I might go mad and one day walk out the door!!!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Double Standards
I dont know how to start this particular post because I am sooo angry and frustrated with my situation/life. I just want to type out all my anger. But I will try to be clear and concise so I make sense but bear with me if I lose focus.
As you are aware I have an exam coming up... I am already stressed about it enough as it is. But home life isnt helping me feel better either.
I have, at present, 2 younger sisters...lets call them spaceman and kofta ( their nicknames as kids). Spaceman is in her 3rd year of Uni and kofta is retaking her GCSEs at college. Now spaceman has exams coming up too so I sympathise. But it is extremely frustrating to see her wake up late and swan out of the house and roll in late in the evening. Slowly, day by day, shes been coming home later and later in the evenings. Last night she came home at 9.30pm.
This isnt just something she does because of studying for exams....this is her all year round. She has zero empathy for anyone in the house. She neglects all her chores at home. She has the nerve to ask for a lift home from the station ( which is only a 5-10 min bus ride straight to our front door). And if you try to talk to her she gives you attitude and rolls her eyes. She does this to mum and dad too, which is so disrespectful.
Kofta is the baby in the family so we tend to be lenient with her. Generally she is well behaved and listens to you and does the jobs you ask her to. But lately shes turning into spaceman. She wakes up late, lounges about in her sleeping suit all day and sits in front of the TV watching music channels or hiding out in her room texting her friends.
Today mum sent me upstairs to revise ( first time ever!), so I gave kofta a list of chores to be done- mainly loading the washing machine, tidy the kitchen n sitting room. To me, this is a small list as I tend to clean up the whole house and cook dinner all by 4pm. Mum went out and I took my nephews to the park with my older sister for an hour or two. I come home and see that kofta has not moved from the sofa since I left her! I was so mad and scolded her and she just stared blankly past me to the TV.
Now I am normally a laid back, tolerant, and patient person. But theres a critical point I reach that makes me so mad with people, including my parents, that I just go into this weird state where I am unresponsive and refuse to talk to people or interact. I refuse to eat food or go out anywhere.
I have stopped trying to talk to my parents about their behaviour because mum just makes excuses and Dad...well hes just given up with them too. It makes me so mad to see how they are allowed to get away with such behaviour. When I was at their age, I never stayed out late. I called my mum to let her know where I was and how long I would be. I would still do my chores even if I had loads of Uni work to do. I never socialised with friends that much as mum didnt approve. And I still done even though Im turning 26 this summer.
Some people might think I am jealous or that I am over exaggerating it but I have spoken to my other sisters ( 1 older & 1 younger than me) and they agree.
At this moment in time I seriously feel like beating the living day lights of both of them for being the worst sisters in the world ever.
But I know there will come a time, where I wont be there to help look after the house or baby sit. I wont be there to clean, tidy, wash, cook, shop. And I will definately wont be there when they need my sisterly help and advice.
As you are aware I have an exam coming up... I am already stressed about it enough as it is. But home life isnt helping me feel better either.
I have, at present, 2 younger sisters...lets call them spaceman and kofta ( their nicknames as kids). Spaceman is in her 3rd year of Uni and kofta is retaking her GCSEs at college. Now spaceman has exams coming up too so I sympathise. But it is extremely frustrating to see her wake up late and swan out of the house and roll in late in the evening. Slowly, day by day, shes been coming home later and later in the evenings. Last night she came home at 9.30pm.
This isnt just something she does because of studying for exams....this is her all year round. She has zero empathy for anyone in the house. She neglects all her chores at home. She has the nerve to ask for a lift home from the station ( which is only a 5-10 min bus ride straight to our front door). And if you try to talk to her she gives you attitude and rolls her eyes. She does this to mum and dad too, which is so disrespectful.
Kofta is the baby in the family so we tend to be lenient with her. Generally she is well behaved and listens to you and does the jobs you ask her to. But lately shes turning into spaceman. She wakes up late, lounges about in her sleeping suit all day and sits in front of the TV watching music channels or hiding out in her room texting her friends.
Today mum sent me upstairs to revise ( first time ever!), so I gave kofta a list of chores to be done- mainly loading the washing machine, tidy the kitchen n sitting room. To me, this is a small list as I tend to clean up the whole house and cook dinner all by 4pm. Mum went out and I took my nephews to the park with my older sister for an hour or two. I come home and see that kofta has not moved from the sofa since I left her! I was so mad and scolded her and she just stared blankly past me to the TV.
Now I am normally a laid back, tolerant, and patient person. But theres a critical point I reach that makes me so mad with people, including my parents, that I just go into this weird state where I am unresponsive and refuse to talk to people or interact. I refuse to eat food or go out anywhere.
I have stopped trying to talk to my parents about their behaviour because mum just makes excuses and Dad...well hes just given up with them too. It makes me so mad to see how they are allowed to get away with such behaviour. When I was at their age, I never stayed out late. I called my mum to let her know where I was and how long I would be. I would still do my chores even if I had loads of Uni work to do. I never socialised with friends that much as mum didnt approve. And I still done even though Im turning 26 this summer.
Some people might think I am jealous or that I am over exaggerating it but I have spoken to my other sisters ( 1 older & 1 younger than me) and they agree.
At this moment in time I seriously feel like beating the living day lights of both of them for being the worst sisters in the world ever.
But I know there will come a time, where I wont be there to help look after the house or baby sit. I wont be there to clean, tidy, wash, cook, shop. And I will definately wont be there when they need my sisterly help and advice.
Friday, April 9, 2010
............
I have an exam on the 15th.... im so scared im going to fail it.
Every time I start revising, im thinking about topics i've not revised and worry they will turn up on the exam. At night I find it hard to sleep...and when I do finally fall asleep I dream of the exam. My heart pounds just thinking about the exam. Every little thing sets me off. I either get real emotional or real angry. Im worried I will slide into depression.
I wish I could walk out the door and hide somewhere for a week. No contact with anyone. No work. No family or friends.......... no worries!
For now though, I will carry on revising.....suppress the anxiety and fear deep within my heart and pray extra hard to Allah for his help and guidance.
Every time I start revising, im thinking about topics i've not revised and worry they will turn up on the exam. At night I find it hard to sleep...and when I do finally fall asleep I dream of the exam. My heart pounds just thinking about the exam. Every little thing sets me off. I either get real emotional or real angry. Im worried I will slide into depression.
I wish I could walk out the door and hide somewhere for a week. No contact with anyone. No work. No family or friends.......... no worries!
For now though, I will carry on revising.....suppress the anxiety and fear deep within my heart and pray extra hard to Allah for his help and guidance.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The Interview!
I travelled up to the Midlands for my first ever interview.
I am feeling positive. There was a lot of smiling and nodding ( which I take as a good sign)
I answered the questions and mentioned hwo well they were doing with controlling infections so hopefully that scored some brownie points!
A friend said I should keep a record of the type of questions they asked for reference purposes... so I am adding them here as a reminder for myself!
Interviewer 1:
Tell us about any project work you did. What was it about? What techniques did you use? What was the outcome?
Interviewer 2:
What do you know about HAI (hosp acq infections) and name some examples.
How would you carry out infection control in the lab?
Interviewer 3:
Give an example of where you communicated effectively with a person/ resolved issues?
IF I don't get this job then at least I have gained some insight into what type of Qs were asked and how to balance out my time effectively.
Will let you peeps know the outcome this interview soon.....
I am feeling positive. There was a lot of smiling and nodding ( which I take as a good sign)
I answered the questions and mentioned hwo well they were doing with controlling infections so hopefully that scored some brownie points!
A friend said I should keep a record of the type of questions they asked for reference purposes... so I am adding them here as a reminder for myself!
Interviewer 1:
Tell us about any project work you did. What was it about? What techniques did you use? What was the outcome?
Interviewer 2:
What do you know about HAI (hosp acq infections) and name some examples.
How would you carry out infection control in the lab?
Interviewer 3:
Give an example of where you communicated effectively with a person/ resolved issues?
IF I don't get this job then at least I have gained some insight into what type of Qs were asked and how to balance out my time effectively.
Will let you peeps know the outcome this interview soon.....
Friday, April 2, 2010
Attention Bloggers!
I am looking for blogs to follow. I am looking to read about like minded people living their lives and trying to be a better person. Im looking for blogs that will strike a cord with me, or feel like im reading about my own experiences....
So any of you beautiful people reading this blog then let me know of other blogs!!
Nuf luv
KavZ
So any of you beautiful people reading this blog then let me know of other blogs!!
Nuf luv
KavZ
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Im feeling the burn!
I remember the days when:
I would go to bed late...and wake up 3 hours later feeling refreshed.
Run half way down the road for the bus.
Stay awake in a 3 hour lecture AND make copious notes that are legible.
Pull all nighters to finish coursework.
Exercise for a solid 2 hours and have more energy than when I started....
Nowadays...
I only get out of bed after 9 hours sleep ( minimum)
Running for the bus is no longer an option...theres bound to be another one coming within 10 minutes.
I dont attend lectures anymore ( thankfully)
Nor do I have courseworks due in any time soon!
I suffer muscle aches for 4 days AFTER completing one exercise class!
BUT I will persevere with the exercise. Hopefully I'll lose some love handles and gain a bigger set of lungs!
I would go to bed late...and wake up 3 hours later feeling refreshed.
Run half way down the road for the bus.
Stay awake in a 3 hour lecture AND make copious notes that are legible.
Pull all nighters to finish coursework.
Exercise for a solid 2 hours and have more energy than when I started....
Nowadays...
I only get out of bed after 9 hours sleep ( minimum)
Running for the bus is no longer an option...theres bound to be another one coming within 10 minutes.
I dont attend lectures anymore ( thankfully)
Nor do I have courseworks due in any time soon!
I suffer muscle aches for 4 days AFTER completing one exercise class!
BUT I will persevere with the exercise. Hopefully I'll lose some love handles and gain a bigger set of lungs!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Career ladder
As an Asian, there has always been a sort of time line to do with ones life.
Ages 0 -16 is associated with being young, carefree, and childlike. What every childhood should be.
Ages 16-21 is where you start making life changing decisions.... what to study... what College & University to attend ...what career to pursue.
Ages 21-25 is finding work, pursuing chosen career, finding a spouse and then marrying.
Ages 26+ is all about work, married life and kids. ( I'm not exaggerating!)
Now I was pretty much on track up til 21-25. I had finished University with a good degree and the time had come to join the working masses. Originally I started temping at a hospital. Make some dough whilst applying for work ( best to start repaying those loans!) Once that would be sorted and stable I could look for a spouse....Right?
WRONG!
At the tender of of 25years and 7 months, I am still a temp. Not by choice I may add. Not because I am lazy and been neglecting the job search.... ( I just completed an MSc). But due to the recession , job losses across all fields has thrown thousands of people back into the murky world of job hunting. For some of these people, they met one of many hurdles of the rat race. Soone ror later, someone will see thier worth and snap them straight back up!
But for people like me...( graduates), just getting your foot in the door is damn impossible!
Of all the applications I have sent out, I have receieved 4 rejection emails. When asked the reason.. I get " lack of experience". HELLO! I can hardly set up a lab in my basement to gain more experience!
Most dont even bother to email their rejection...its the standard.." If you don't hear from us in 6 weeks, assume your application was unsuccessful".
All I can say is... your loss. I love science. I love working in the lab. I love carrying out experiments. I love working with microorganisms! You would be lucky to have me!
On that note I sincerely thank the hospital that has called me for an interview in April ( my first!). Whether I do well and get the job or dont, it doesnt matter! The fact that they liked my application, maybe saw potential in me, is enough. It has given me hope that my efforts are not in vain.
Hopefully, sometime this year, I will have my foot on the career ladder. Maybe then I will start worrying about my lack of spouse!
Ages 0 -16 is associated with being young, carefree, and childlike. What every childhood should be.
Ages 16-21 is where you start making life changing decisions.... what to study... what College & University to attend ...what career to pursue.
Ages 21-25 is finding work, pursuing chosen career, finding a spouse and then marrying.
Ages 26+ is all about work, married life and kids. ( I'm not exaggerating!)
Now I was pretty much on track up til 21-25. I had finished University with a good degree and the time had come to join the working masses. Originally I started temping at a hospital. Make some dough whilst applying for work ( best to start repaying those loans!) Once that would be sorted and stable I could look for a spouse....Right?
WRONG!
At the tender of of 25years and 7 months, I am still a temp. Not by choice I may add. Not because I am lazy and been neglecting the job search.... ( I just completed an MSc). But due to the recession , job losses across all fields has thrown thousands of people back into the murky world of job hunting. For some of these people, they met one of many hurdles of the rat race. Soone ror later, someone will see thier worth and snap them straight back up!
But for people like me...( graduates), just getting your foot in the door is damn impossible!
Of all the applications I have sent out, I have receieved 4 rejection emails. When asked the reason.. I get " lack of experience". HELLO! I can hardly set up a lab in my basement to gain more experience!
Most dont even bother to email their rejection...its the standard.." If you don't hear from us in 6 weeks, assume your application was unsuccessful".
All I can say is... your loss. I love science. I love working in the lab. I love carrying out experiments. I love working with microorganisms! You would be lucky to have me!
On that note I sincerely thank the hospital that has called me for an interview in April ( my first!). Whether I do well and get the job or dont, it doesnt matter! The fact that they liked my application, maybe saw potential in me, is enough. It has given me hope that my efforts are not in vain.
Hopefully, sometime this year, I will have my foot on the career ladder. Maybe then I will start worrying about my lack of spouse!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The hunt is on.....
Im currently looking for two things....
1) VW polo car.
I need it for work and socialising. It is so frustrating to drive around in a big fat bulky car that I cant park properly. The wipers dont work so I cant drive it when its raining. This evening I popped round to my cousins house. And just as me and my sisters reached there, it started pissing down. So at half 9, we had to leave before the downpour...... I had to stop every few mins just to wipe the screen clear. Luckily we made it home in 1 piece!
2) a Job.
I feel like Im stuck in a work rut. My career is not going anywhere. Even though I apply to adverts, I never get a response back. I am not looking to earn millions. Just to gain some experience within the field of science. To dedicate my time and effort to a worthy cause.
I woudl like these two things for this year...... lets see if I get them!
1) VW polo car.
I need it for work and socialising. It is so frustrating to drive around in a big fat bulky car that I cant park properly. The wipers dont work so I cant drive it when its raining. This evening I popped round to my cousins house. And just as me and my sisters reached there, it started pissing down. So at half 9, we had to leave before the downpour...... I had to stop every few mins just to wipe the screen clear. Luckily we made it home in 1 piece!
2) a Job.
I feel like Im stuck in a work rut. My career is not going anywhere. Even though I apply to adverts, I never get a response back. I am not looking to earn millions. Just to gain some experience within the field of science. To dedicate my time and effort to a worthy cause.
I woudl like these two things for this year...... lets see if I get them!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
No Work...All play!
I have just completed a 4 week placement at the hospital. And this coming week will be all about chilling!
I am planning to:
Search for a car (to buy)
Search and apply for jobs
Find out about hobby classes in my area.
Hang out with my cute nephews...(Sonu is nearly 4, Timmy is nearly 2, and Sefu is 4 months).
Ahhh I forgot how great it was to have time off!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Sleepless nights...and odd dreams
For the past few days I have been struggling to sleep properly.
Normally I'll sleep through the night comfortably and wake up when my alarm sounds. I try to get around 8 to 9 hours sleep so I am fully refreshed.
But the past few days I have been struggling to sleep. And when I do fall asleep I wake up an hour or two later and feel restless. Then by the time I do fall asleep again...my alarm goes off. So I struggle out of bed with a headache, get ready for work and leave home. My headache lasts all day ( in some cases I feel queasy). Taking a paracetamol doesn't seem to help at all.
On top of that, I have been having dreams, which are odd but not disturbing.
Dream 1.
Im waiting for a bus to take me to work. I get on one but it terminates at the next stop. So I walk back to the previous bus stop where I bump into my school friend who starts telling me about her wedding dress and how she's stopped having acrylic nails and is just french manicuring them.
Dream 2.
Im at work and the weekday supervisor is having a go at a member of staff. In turn I get angry because the supervisor made my colleague cry. So I go over to my supervisor and start arguing with her. She is being rude so I tell her I quit and leave the store.
Neither dream has any basis for truth. My friend tells me her wedding dress is nothing like I described and she will never give up her acrylic nails! And my supervisor would never treat this particular colleague in a bad way.
The sleepless nights and odd dreams are really frustrating because I just want a good nights rest with a wonderful happy dream that makes my soul feel good.....
Normally I'll sleep through the night comfortably and wake up when my alarm sounds. I try to get around 8 to 9 hours sleep so I am fully refreshed.
But the past few days I have been struggling to sleep. And when I do fall asleep I wake up an hour or two later and feel restless. Then by the time I do fall asleep again...my alarm goes off. So I struggle out of bed with a headache, get ready for work and leave home. My headache lasts all day ( in some cases I feel queasy). Taking a paracetamol doesn't seem to help at all.
On top of that, I have been having dreams, which are odd but not disturbing.
Dream 1.
Im waiting for a bus to take me to work. I get on one but it terminates at the next stop. So I walk back to the previous bus stop where I bump into my school friend who starts telling me about her wedding dress and how she's stopped having acrylic nails and is just french manicuring them.
Dream 2.
Im at work and the weekday supervisor is having a go at a member of staff. In turn I get angry because the supervisor made my colleague cry. So I go over to my supervisor and start arguing with her. She is being rude so I tell her I quit and leave the store.
Neither dream has any basis for truth. My friend tells me her wedding dress is nothing like I described and she will never give up her acrylic nails! And my supervisor would never treat this particular colleague in a bad way.
The sleepless nights and odd dreams are really frustrating because I just want a good nights rest with a wonderful happy dream that makes my soul feel good.....
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Im a bookworm and proud of it!
I am an avid reader. I will read anything as long as the blurb sounds good. Tomorrow on my way to work I am going to start a book called "No humans involved" by Kelley Armstrong. It will be my first time reading a paranormal/fantasy novel.
Generally I like to read books form different genres. Chick lit, Sci Fi, Teenage Fiction, Classics, Crime Thriller etc etc.
It doesn't help that I work in a bookstore! I'll be working away when I spot a book that looks interesting.....I then read the back... If its sounds good (which it normally does) I'll make a note of it and buy it later on. Half my wardrobe is filled with books...and that isn't all of them. I have actually sold half of them over time just to make room for newer books. Although I have kept some because they are favourites which I like to pull out and read on rainy days or days off!
Generally I like to read books form different genres. Chick lit, Sci Fi, Teenage Fiction, Classics, Crime Thriller etc etc.
It doesn't help that I work in a bookstore! I'll be working away when I spot a book that looks interesting.....I then read the back... If its sounds good (which it normally does) I'll make a note of it and buy it later on. Half my wardrobe is filled with books...and that isn't all of them. I have actually sold half of them over time just to make room for newer books. Although I have kept some because they are favourites which I like to pull out and read on rainy days or days off!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Time flys...
I've been sitting here TRYING to think of something to blog about.....
So I checked a few blogs out.... but it was mostly about women who have some sort of hobby e.g. papercrafting, stamping, knitting, crocheting, or basket weaving.
I don't have a hobby. Why? Because I don't have time. I am always doing something or other that prevents me from utilising my time.
And so I pulled out my calculator to work out how much of my time I spend on things....... Here is the breakdown based on a week (168 hours):
Sleep: Ok I try to get 8.5 hours a night = 59 hours & 30 mins
Travel: Well I have 2 jobs- weekday and weekend and travelling times for them vary. It takes me an hour to get to the hospital and an hour to get back on weekdays. 10 hours.
Travelling to and from Smiths on weekends is 1 hour so thats 2 hours. = 12 hours in total.
Working: 7 hour shifts during the week. And 11 hours on the weekend. = 46 hours.
Eating: Calculating lunch breaks and dinner time = 7 hours & 30 mins.
Free time: This includes internet surfing, watching TV, playing computer games, and reading books - 4 hours a night weekday & 7 hours on weekends = 34 hours
This is obviously an approximation as I havent included cooking/cleaning/bathroom use/shopping etc etc.
And when you add it all up.... I spent 159 hours on the above tasks. ( I cannot account where the missing 9 hours go! Asleep maybe?).
To me thats a lot of time wasted. It's depressing me to think that I'm wasting so much time but have nothing to show for it. :(
So I checked a few blogs out.... but it was mostly about women who have some sort of hobby e.g. papercrafting, stamping, knitting, crocheting, or basket weaving.
I don't have a hobby. Why? Because I don't have time. I am always doing something or other that prevents me from utilising my time.
And so I pulled out my calculator to work out how much of my time I spend on things....... Here is the breakdown based on a week (168 hours):
Sleep: Ok I try to get 8.5 hours a night = 59 hours & 30 mins
Travel: Well I have 2 jobs- weekday and weekend and travelling times for them vary. It takes me an hour to get to the hospital and an hour to get back on weekdays. 10 hours.
Travelling to and from Smiths on weekends is 1 hour so thats 2 hours. = 12 hours in total.
Working: 7 hour shifts during the week. And 11 hours on the weekend. = 46 hours.
Eating: Calculating lunch breaks and dinner time = 7 hours & 30 mins.
Free time: This includes internet surfing, watching TV, playing computer games, and reading books - 4 hours a night weekday & 7 hours on weekends = 34 hours
This is obviously an approximation as I havent included cooking/cleaning/bathroom use/shopping etc etc.
And when you add it all up.... I spent 159 hours on the above tasks. ( I cannot account where the missing 9 hours go! Asleep maybe?).
To me thats a lot of time wasted. It's depressing me to think that I'm wasting so much time but have nothing to show for it. :(
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The Real Reason Im Losing My Hair........
is stress!
Im stressed because ( in particular order):
1) Im working two jobs. Monday to Fridays doing 7 hour shifts of administration work for a paltry £8.65 an hour. Then on weekends I work in a retail shop for 11 hours tidying a store that will look like cr*p by the time I go back then following week! And I cannot do anything about it right now because I NEED the money.
2) I have a student loan of £5000+. It doesn't seem so bad compared to others, especially those studying dentistry or medicine. But I have been in employment for 6 years and have nothing to show for it yet. I am always overdrawn and I don't know why because im such a cheapskate when it comes to buying stuff. The last item of clothing I bought was legwarmers from primark.
3) I graduated 3 years ago and can not find a job related to my degree (field of Science). I then decided to do a Masters thinking this will help me!...... I haven't even had one interview so far.
A girl I was studying got a job within a week of finishing the Masters.
I'm working two jobs whilst I apply EVERWHERE in the hope someone will spot my brilliantness!
4) I am not married and probably wont be for a very long time. That in it's self is not stressing ( I like being single). The trouble is that EVERYONE keeps asking WHY I am still single. Or asking when am I getting married? Or start comparing me to my older sister whose married, has 3 kids and all before she hit 30. I am in my mid 20s....why is everyone so intent in me being married? Whats super annoying is half these people have kids my age, who are unmarried themselves!
5) Im slightly chubby and have fat arms. I am stressed because I know these arms of mine are starting to resemble bingo wings...and that is not a pretty sight for someone my age! And not just that but I look pregnant after eating. I have been told by my older sister I look 3 months pregnant after I eat. I can't give up food....I'll starve! ( vicious circle of life).
I have resorted to taking a packed lunch to work. A packet of soup and a plain cheese sandwich.
6) my reds are going to start soon and that ALWAYS makes me cranky/snappy.
Okay I have had a good rant/rave. But I want to know if other people are stressed and whats causing it. Maybe we can come up with some ideas to alleviate some of our stress inducing problems!
Im stressed because ( in particular order):
1) Im working two jobs. Monday to Fridays doing 7 hour shifts of administration work for a paltry £8.65 an hour. Then on weekends I work in a retail shop for 11 hours tidying a store that will look like cr*p by the time I go back then following week! And I cannot do anything about it right now because I NEED the money.
2) I have a student loan of £5000+. It doesn't seem so bad compared to others, especially those studying dentistry or medicine. But I have been in employment for 6 years and have nothing to show for it yet. I am always overdrawn and I don't know why because im such a cheapskate when it comes to buying stuff. The last item of clothing I bought was legwarmers from primark.
3) I graduated 3 years ago and can not find a job related to my degree (field of Science). I then decided to do a Masters thinking this will help me!...... I haven't even had one interview so far.
A girl I was studying got a job within a week of finishing the Masters.
I'm working two jobs whilst I apply EVERWHERE in the hope someone will spot my brilliantness!
4) I am not married and probably wont be for a very long time. That in it's self is not stressing ( I like being single). The trouble is that EVERYONE keeps asking WHY I am still single. Or asking when am I getting married? Or start comparing me to my older sister whose married, has 3 kids and all before she hit 30. I am in my mid 20s....why is everyone so intent in me being married? Whats super annoying is half these people have kids my age, who are unmarried themselves!
5) Im slightly chubby and have fat arms. I am stressed because I know these arms of mine are starting to resemble bingo wings...and that is not a pretty sight for someone my age! And not just that but I look pregnant after eating. I have been told by my older sister I look 3 months pregnant after I eat. I can't give up food....I'll starve! ( vicious circle of life).
I have resorted to taking a packed lunch to work. A packet of soup and a plain cheese sandwich.
6) my reds are going to start soon and that ALWAYS makes me cranky/snappy.
Okay I have had a good rant/rave. But I want to know if other people are stressed and whats causing it. Maybe we can come up with some ideas to alleviate some of our stress inducing problems!
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